had carrer talks today. i signed up for the talk on teaching; NIE talk. after i came out i was so confused. i mean the teaching process and 'coporate-ladder' was simple enough to understand. but there was this other thing.
medical school.
there was this booth about aussie universities and when i saw the criteria for enrolment into medical school, i was kinda shocked. it was kinda easy to get in. so herein lies the confusion. do i go abroad to study medicine or do i continue with what i want to do? its damn expensive to do meidcine abroad, about S$60000. the world is also so tumultuous nowadays that its just so scary to spend 6 years in another country that was once anti-asian.
i talked to my mother about it and she was supportive and stuff. she said that she was worried about me going overseas but she would support if i wanted to. good eh?
but after much contemplation, i decided to pursue my education in s'pore and not go overseas yet. maybe for my masters i'll go overseas because i do want to experience life out of singapore.
but because its so easy to get into aussie's medical schools, i have alot of what ifs in my head. what if i could have been a wonderful doctor? what if i could have been a brilliant surgeon? what if what if what if...
its so difficult. for now, i'll just try to get that 4 'A's that i wanna (and its not easy mind you). hopefully i'll enter s'pore's medical school if i get in. if not, i wont be disappointed in the least. i'll gladly take up some bio course and do it till honours (together with psychology or sociology as a minor, havent decided) before entering NIE and start my teaching carrer. later in life, then only will i go abroad to pursue masters. (see how lah ah?).
still a long way to go.

ever notice how people are always attracted to stuff that are bad, malicious and just plain threatens the very exsistance of what they already have?
like their lives sometimes.
humans are such idiots. why is it that they are so drawn to such things when they know that it is just not right? for example, gossiping and rumour-mogering. people are so taken in to these action even though they know (at some level, though it may not be consciously) that it shouldnt be carried out. why?
why is it that men, who live perfectly good lives with a perfect wife and perfect kids in a perfect little home in a perfect little neighbourhood, are unfaithful? why do they jeopardize all that they have and force social scientists to coin up the phrase, 'marrige is the cradle for infidelity and the grave for love' ? is just weird.
why are we so tempted at doing things that we are not suppose to or put us at certain risks, knowing full well of the consequences involved? like cheating in a test, for a simple example. why do we carry it out knowing that it is a punishable act if caught? because failing is worse? bad excuse. if we were able to fully comprehend the idea of failing equates bad before even sitting for the test, we would have studied in the first place.
we humans are so contradictory by nature. we preach, but never practice. we tell all, but do none (or some at most). we see fault but never in ourselves. double standards? maybe.

kit has been hired by my mum to give my bro tution. interesting isn't it? lol. dont even know how or when it happened (something like my mum asking me if she was free to teach vic or something like that) but now, kit is giving my bro tution once every fortnight! (she needs time for her own work and stuff so once a fortnight is reasonable enough). wonder how it'll work out though. my main concern is the giggles. kit finds my bro so funny that i wonder if she'll be serious enough to do work. hope she can. lol. though it'll be funny to watch her try and all : )
i'm so tired. my body is aching all over again. can't wait for the damn holidays and all. one week of bliss.

disappointing. what a git.

had road run today. 5km of torture. god it was horrible. ran with jeremy all the way. i was fine for about 3km. the remaning 2 was excruciating, especially the last 1/2km. thought i was gonna die or something. came in at 249th position. though it may sound bad it's actually not bad considering that there are more than 500 guys present. so i'm happy. (and i didnt stop at all okay! continuous jogging for 5km!).
after the run, darren kit and i met daph and we went to the acjc fun-fair. got it was absolutely bad. so crowded, so hot, so expensive. we lingered for about an hour and a half and got outta there. never again.
we went to town then and bought mel's present; a bag and a water bottle. the bag was nice and the bottle was nicer, blue and all. bought for myself an earing to. lackin in those.
also, a new sex shop in far east. must go there in july!noticed something today; singaporeans are extremely rude, especially in the town area where everyone seems perpetually late for something or another. they just rush str8 into your face, not caring if they bumped into you or brushed your bag of your shoulders onto the floor. they just continue walking and not even a whimper of an apology escape their lips.
makes me wonder why i'm so nice to people sometimes, since its obvious that some singaporeans just dont care. feel so used. (like a slut. lol). i just think that it's unfair that some can be so nice and polite while others are so extremely blatantly rude! its annoying.
i've noticed that people tend to be nicer as i move out of the city. must be the hustle and bustle of city life that causes them to be so rude. but still its so not a good excuse. i mean if i can be polite in and out of the city, why cant they. maybe its because i'm still a teenager, without the worries and the deadlines of an adult. maybe its because they just dont care. maybe its because in the city people are more stressed out than at other places, so stressed that they slip in the manners factor. there are many reasons, but still, none of them are good enough. i just think that manners should be something that is found inside and displayed subconsciously, meaning that you will react appropriately in a given situation without thinking, thus making the action subconscious (though you may notice that i am using the word subconsciously loosely). it should be done no matter what. but sure, we're human and we do deviate for this ideality so hey, we can falter once in a while. i understand that.
since i'm in the mood for criticising my fellow singaporeans, i might as well state another example which gives reason as to why singaporeans are a rude bunch. in the mrt (i'm sure many will agree with me), singaporeans display, what i feel to be the most selfish and inconsiderate act i have ever witnessed. people always crowd around the door of the trains when they ahve no where to sit. this disrupts the flow of other passengers and because of that, it is so incomfortable to be in a train for long journeys under such conditions. you get so pissed that passengers refuse to move into the centre of the carriage even after repeated announcements by the computerised lady voice on the train. it absolutely irritating. sometimes, you just wanna shout. singaporeans should learn some basic manners especially in the bus and on the train. at least then maybe that statistic on singaporeans being the no. 3rd ruddest country (so damn shameful right?) will be eradicated.

my body is aching.
exercising is tough work.
if i dont get enough sleep soon i'll die. and guess what? i have pe tomorrow. fun eh? and this sat, my college's road run takes place. 5km. can't wait.

its been a busy 3 weeks.
january came and went in a blur, leaving nothing to remember itself by and now, its already mid-feb. time is moving too fast. i scared. the a-levels will be rearing its ugly (and extremely complex) head in no time. seesh. time needs to slow down.
anyway, nothing especially great happened this 3 weeks. thaipusam took place on the 5th of this month. same ol' same ol'. i mean how different can this festival really be? i told kit about it though and she might want to go next year, to watch and stuff i guess.
oh yea, the sj hoiuse event which took place during cny was fun!!! played liquor games (to the probable discontent of daph) and had loads of fun with ppl i haven't seen in a while (namely daph and mel). however reena confessed to me (about 3 days ago during gp) that she felt out that day at sj's place. she felt akward with daph and mel. she said that this happened because she hasn't been spending time with either of them owing to her newly formed relationship with temmy and the time they have been spending together. i told her its just a phase thing and will soon lift once she integrates herself back in, which shouldnt be too much of a prob eh?
and yes, reena and temmy are together. temmy. i dont really like him. dunno why. all i can say is that i had a bad first impression of him (though i cant remember what it is now) and first impressions do last i'm afraid. but hey, like i told reena its up to her. also, she said that her relationship with sj seems a lilltle bit distant since sj found out a few days before V'day. but c'mon it takes some getting used too right? i feel for sj. so poor thing, reena also feels guilty. but there is nothing wrong in moving on. in my opinion she had every right to do so and i dont blame her at all. but i do hope that nothing bad happens.
oh yea, daph asked me yesterday if i was quarrelling with mel. obviously not. she said that he said that i was acting different. cant remeber exactly what now, but sheesh so silly. just because i'm talking to him less doesnt mean otherwise. i still love him to death and the lack in conversation doesnt dismiss this fact.
there are so many good songs on radio now! my fav is britney's toxic and sarah maclaclin's faling and clocks by some group (forgot the name already). not bad eh? hope it continues with this trend and that few r&bs come up. dont like most of em. yucks.
was suppose to go out with sean shah cassie nita and this other chi girl today to celebrate shah's birthday. but i didnt wanna go. dont think i'd enjoy myself with a crew like that. shah sean and cassie i'm fine but nita and other chi girl, a big no. dont really like em. so i lied to em saying that my uncle had a mild myocardial infarction (heart attack) and that i had to rush to the hospital. lol. yea yea, i know. kinda naughty, but i really dont care. just didnt wanna go. anyway, i had to lie cos i promised sean a long time ago already. the truth is just so tedious sometimes.