cold feet
i went over to nus this morning, bright and early at 10 (it's bright and early to me) to help usp out with rag and to get my accomodation at pgpr finalised. (i'll be in block 15, 3rd floor, room j. i cant wait to move into my own little haven!)
today was the first time i would be meeting my seniors and i have to admit that a small part of me was filled with this childish fear and anxiousness. i dont even know why i felt like this. maybe it was because i knew deep down that these were the people that i would be working with for some part of my uni life and with usp being a really small group, i'm bound to bump into them often. i was hoping that they would be people i'd like and people that'll like me.
i feel like monica (friends: i have an uncontrollable urge to please people)
thankfully, as you would expect, my fears and anxieties came to naught. most of them were really nice people and very welcoming. so much so that it was quite overwhelming. some of them were pretty lame and silly (in fact most of their jokes and casual conversation are and i kept picturing kit and i sniggering at them) but they were still nice folks.
but because they are in the usp, there was a sort of expectation that came tagged along and in this case, unlike in my previous baseless fears, i was not wrong. these people are bloody brilliant. they know so many things and are totally not afraid to call you out if you are wrong or to fight to the verbal death their cause or argument. it's actually quite intimidating; imagine being classmates with 20 or so of this creatures.
in fact, they're all so steadfast in their points-of-view and thier beliefs, it's really quite amazing that they are actually get along.
when i left, i was second guessing my joining the usp. what if i just cant produce good work? what if i cant formulate good enough arguments that can be moulded into a coherent thesis? what if i'm just not good enough?
the standard what-ifs duely ensued and worry started to fill me up to the brim.
thankfully, i've been through this lack-of-confidence stage enough times to recongnise it for what it is: just jitters.
doesnt mean though that i'm not at all frightened out of my wits to give a presentation to this group of people, which i undoubtedly will do at least once in my uni life. but for now i'm trying not to let that bug me... too much.
i went over to nus this morning, bright and early at 10 (it's bright and early to me) to help usp out with rag and to get my accomodation at pgpr finalised. (i'll be in block 15, 3rd floor, room j. i cant wait to move into my own little haven!)
today was the first time i would be meeting my seniors and i have to admit that a small part of me was filled with this childish fear and anxiousness. i dont even know why i felt like this. maybe it was because i knew deep down that these were the people that i would be working with for some part of my uni life and with usp being a really small group, i'm bound to bump into them often. i was hoping that they would be people i'd like and people that'll like me.
i feel like monica (friends: i have an uncontrollable urge to please people)
thankfully, as you would expect, my fears and anxieties came to naught. most of them were really nice people and very welcoming. so much so that it was quite overwhelming. some of them were pretty lame and silly (in fact most of their jokes and casual conversation are and i kept picturing kit and i sniggering at them) but they were still nice folks.
but because they are in the usp, there was a sort of expectation that came tagged along and in this case, unlike in my previous baseless fears, i was not wrong. these people are bloody brilliant. they know so many things and are totally not afraid to call you out if you are wrong or to fight to the verbal death their cause or argument. it's actually quite intimidating; imagine being classmates with 20 or so of this creatures.
in fact, they're all so steadfast in their points-of-view and thier beliefs, it's really quite amazing that they are actually get along.
when i left, i was second guessing my joining the usp. what if i just cant produce good work? what if i cant formulate good enough arguments that can be moulded into a coherent thesis? what if i'm just not good enough?
the standard what-ifs duely ensued and worry started to fill me up to the brim.
thankfully, i've been through this lack-of-confidence stage enough times to recongnise it for what it is: just jitters.
doesnt mean though that i'm not at all frightened out of my wits to give a presentation to this group of people, which i undoubtedly will do at least once in my uni life. but for now i'm trying not to let that bug me... too much.
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