cynicism - table for two please
apart from christmas bells i've been hearing, i've been plagued by another type of bell lately: wedding bells. in whatever form or image, they ring their joyful noise, spreading the message of love and the sanctity of matrimony between a man and woman. in a month alone, i've been invited to 3 weddings - a chinese wedding (well more like a chinese wedding dinner), an indian wedding and a christian wedding (ms tay's. no no, mrs foo's).
these wedding were distinctly different in terms of culture and ceremony but they all kinda mean the same thing: bringing together two people under the umbrella of marriage. and at each of these ceremonies, they attest their love for each other through vows that proclaim how one will always be there for the other, how their love will be the one to stand through it all, usually culminating in the acknowledgement that only the grim reaper and his fearful scythe can tear them apart; like the use of bleach on a stubborn stain.
in fact, the lunch-buffet part of the indian wedding just took place this afternoon. (the religious ceremony was yesterday. it was horribly long). a montage of pictures and clips were shown with sappy jazz music in the background. the bestman and the bridesmaid came up to make their little speeches about how they were perfect for each other and regaled the guests with varsity stories where the happy couple first laid eyes on each other. at the end of it all, the newly weds came up to say a few words of thanks 'to all those that came today and made it a memorable occasion' for the both of them. they also couldnt help but include some sweet, aww-inducing comments about their life partners; the groom actually especially thanked the bride's parents for getting married, for if they didnt, he wouldnt have 'this wonderful lady' standing beside him.
yes it was all pretty sweet and very romantic. i couldnt help but smile when the montage reeled on and when the speeches were made. i even had this picture in my head of them having a happy marriage, with plenty of kids that grow up to be as lucky as their parents. and as for the couple? i imagined them growing old together, sitting on a wooden bench on the porch holding hands and just enjoying each others company. nothing but just the two of them and a fufilling life with no regrets.
unfortunately reality is a harsh and bitter teacher.
as the speeches were being read (and when i wasnt kidding myself with visions of happily-ever-afters about the couple) i looked around me. sitting at the next table was my uncle who was divorced. somewhere on the other side of that table was another couple that was rumoured to have martial problems. (if youre wondering how i know these things just remember: i'm indian and this was an indian wedding. i may not know these people but everyone knows them). in another part of the ballroom was a couple that were separated. and they were sitting down, listening to the couple and their right hand man/woman talking about love and all the promises that they made to each other, just like everyone else, and smiling.
and its not only those in the ballroom. people all around the world that have been through a divorce or have re(re)married have at one point promised to love and cherish their other half. they too made promises and took sacred vows binding them till death. instead the grim reaper came too soon in the form of a john hancock on a divorce agreement. in the end, the promises remained empty and the vows, unfufilled. the essence became watered down over time and soon all that remained were just the vessels: words.
it was at this moment that i chuckled lightly and thought this to myself: can you blame me for being a cynic at times?
apart from christmas bells i've been hearing, i've been plagued by another type of bell lately: wedding bells. in whatever form or image, they ring their joyful noise, spreading the message of love and the sanctity of matrimony between a man and woman. in a month alone, i've been invited to 3 weddings - a chinese wedding (well more like a chinese wedding dinner), an indian wedding and a christian wedding (ms tay's. no no, mrs foo's).
these wedding were distinctly different in terms of culture and ceremony but they all kinda mean the same thing: bringing together two people under the umbrella of marriage. and at each of these ceremonies, they attest their love for each other through vows that proclaim how one will always be there for the other, how their love will be the one to stand through it all, usually culminating in the acknowledgement that only the grim reaper and his fearful scythe can tear them apart; like the use of bleach on a stubborn stain.
in fact, the lunch-buffet part of the indian wedding just took place this afternoon. (the religious ceremony was yesterday. it was horribly long). a montage of pictures and clips were shown with sappy jazz music in the background. the bestman and the bridesmaid came up to make their little speeches about how they were perfect for each other and regaled the guests with varsity stories where the happy couple first laid eyes on each other. at the end of it all, the newly weds came up to say a few words of thanks 'to all those that came today and made it a memorable occasion' for the both of them. they also couldnt help but include some sweet, aww-inducing comments about their life partners; the groom actually especially thanked the bride's parents for getting married, for if they didnt, he wouldnt have 'this wonderful lady' standing beside him.
yes it was all pretty sweet and very romantic. i couldnt help but smile when the montage reeled on and when the speeches were made. i even had this picture in my head of them having a happy marriage, with plenty of kids that grow up to be as lucky as their parents. and as for the couple? i imagined them growing old together, sitting on a wooden bench on the porch holding hands and just enjoying each others company. nothing but just the two of them and a fufilling life with no regrets.
unfortunately reality is a harsh and bitter teacher.
as the speeches were being read (and when i wasnt kidding myself with visions of happily-ever-afters about the couple) i looked around me. sitting at the next table was my uncle who was divorced. somewhere on the other side of that table was another couple that was rumoured to have martial problems. (if youre wondering how i know these things just remember: i'm indian and this was an indian wedding. i may not know these people but everyone knows them). in another part of the ballroom was a couple that were separated. and they were sitting down, listening to the couple and their right hand man/woman talking about love and all the promises that they made to each other, just like everyone else, and smiling.
and its not only those in the ballroom. people all around the world that have been through a divorce or have re(re)married have at one point promised to love and cherish their other half. they too made promises and took sacred vows binding them till death. instead the grim reaper came too soon in the form of a john hancock on a divorce agreement. in the end, the promises remained empty and the vows, unfufilled. the essence became watered down over time and soon all that remained were just the vessels: words.
it was at this moment that i chuckled lightly and thought this to myself: can you blame me for being a cynic at times?
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