today marks two decades of my existence (which is actually a really unnecessarily silly way of saying that its my birthday) but it really doesnt feel like it.

as usual the alarm on my handphone rang at precisely 9:37 am this morning, the time of my birth, a habit that i've cultivated for years. i know it's kinda dumb but it's fun to know exactly when you move up an age. (i feel you're judging eyes...)

so far the day has passed just as any sunday would've. honestly though, i never really made a big deal out of any of my birthdays so i'm actually nonchalant about the whole thing. it's just another year and i really abhor all the attention so easily given. the cutting of the cake that i barely eat (cake and me have never really gotten along) and the really stupid song that people sing, where for that brief minute or two that the song takes centrestage, you too are under the spotlight. and let me tell you, it's very uncomfortable to be in the limelight with the birthday song. it makes me feel like i'm on the disney channel, and dont let me get started on disney and the false hopes...

but i (as i usually do) digress...

nonetheless i have to say that there's nothing like a birthday to force you into retrospection, even if youre not up for that exhausting walk down memory lane. they're like biological checkpoints you cant run away from. people just think about what they've done with their lives and what they've accomplished. what they can cross out from their must-do-before-i'm-dust list. who they've become and what's coming up for them. it's like the new year, where everyone promises themselves a fresh start and what not, only this one is more personal.

i'm just gonna stop here before i carry on babbling. it's my birthday after all and i'm freaking 20.