the following is taken from bbc's coupling. i dont know if any of you have heard of the show. it's kinda like friends but british and insanely funny. in this scene mr. taylor and his wife are in the operating theater where his wife is undergoing a c-section and he is talking to himself, about the whole thing as he experiences it, in his head; like a soliloquy but not spoken aloud.


i entered the theater with susan, looking like a great green teat. i had gloves, something like a hair-net and what looked like paper bags on my shoes. i was pretty sure that if they had something for my arse i'd be wearing it.

they put up a cloth at susan's chest so she didnt have to see them cut her open. kinda polite really. i hid behind the cloth and sat beside susan as a man i barely knew proceeded to cut my wife open. it was a curious feeling actually.

susan: why dont you have a look see darling. they seem to be taking a long while cutting me open.

it was then that i said the most cowardly thing i've ever said to my wife.

mr. taylor: dont worry dear, i'm sure they know what they're doing.
susan: well i sure wish they'd hurry up.
mr. taylor: don't you feel anything?
susan: well yea, but it doesnt hurt. i feel like a washing machine.

*baby is heard crying*

susan: that's our baby!
midwife: it's a boy.

after that there was more cutting and sewing up, and a blob of red mass passed me by and was put on a scale. i felt that i should have felt something but i didnt really. there was no connection. was this normal?

midwife: mr. taylor? would you like to have a look at him?
susan: well go on then. go have a see.

i walked up away from susan, glad really to get away from her getting stapled back together, to where he was, still feeling nothing that i felt i should have. i looked down. he was just really red.

susan: toes and fingers love. check for the toes and fingers.
mr taylor: (looks really lost) mmm... average. they look average. (pauses) he doesnt have any eyes though.
midwife: his eyes are shut (directing it mainly at the shocked and confused susan). its because of the light (nodding her head in the direction of the overhead lights).

so i placed my right hand slightly over his eyes, trying to block out some of the light, and slowly, he opened them. he looked straight at me... and oh my goodness me... in that moment, i became somebody.


i thought the whole thing was beautiful albeit hilarious.

if i ever get married, i wonder how i'll feel like in the operating theater with my wife when she's giving birth.