every week i make it a point to meet up with the gang at least once. why? simply because i miss them and it's a chance for me to let loose and to be around people that i'm comfortable with. we laugh, talk about stuff from the serious to the seriously mundane and just goof off, and at the end, we leave for home smiling, having spent a wonderful day with friends.

but as in every single friendship, there are always undercurrents. there are always things that we dont say to one another. it could be that we're unhappy with something/one in the group, or that we disagree with something that someone said or that we just plain dont like some of the stuff that others do/say. the point is, we just keep it on the low, taking it in, like a sponge wiping away a stain.

but shouldn't friends talk about their problems, share it with others and come to a solution or a compromise that will please everyone? you know, like the stuff they teach you on barney, sesame street... the whole nine yards. but nothing is ever that easy, especially when we pry ourselves from the t.v. screen. so why the silence? we just want to avoid conflict as much as possible.

let's face it, we're happy: we crack jokes, enjoy each other's company, we are so suprememly comfortable with each other that it's probably banned in come countries. who would want to ruin that by bringing up something and laying it out on the table for everyone to get their hands dirty in? even if it's something that's not too big an issue, there's still the whole process of cleaning up that aforementioned proverbial table. a process that requires finding one's place in the group again, finding out what to do and what not to do and reaching that comfort level again. doesn't that sound tiring to you? doesn't it all feel so unnecessary all of a sudden? dont you just wanna not say anything? wouldnt you rather just keep it in you, all locked up, even though you know that it really isn't doing anything for your figure?

viola, reticence.

maybe this isn't such a bad thing. the group still functions and he/she will get to avoid a potentially huge mess and social reshuffle within the group. you still get the blaséd joy and laughter but we all know that a sacrifice is in order, and that is the sacrifice of the self. how much of that particular problem can you take? that of course differs individually. but if the problem is repititive then a 'blow up' is inevitable. now dont get me wrong, the phrase 'blow up' is not as explosive as it sounda. some might literally blow up aretha franklin style, others might just lose it and distance themselves and try to fix the problem by rummaging through various solutions, confide it others, or worst of all, back talking ensues with others in the same boat. but the point is, one can only take so much crap.

so to kinda sum up, there are always undercurrents between even the bestest of friends, people always want to avoid conflict (unless of course your surname's bush), everyone has a limit, a blow up is usually inevitable. with this in mind isn't it now easy to see and somewhat acceptable to note that in every friendship/relationship problems are expected and sometimes they will get ugly? i guess it's how you deal with it that makes or break a relationship.

so for now, the next time you're at a group gathering or an outing between close friends, just picture all of them as ticking social time-bombs, set to blow once thier cup runneth over.