death can come anytime.
today, one of my schoolmates passed away.
brain tumour.
he has been in hospital for about over 6 months.
i dont know him personally, havent spoken to him before, and i'm very sure he doesnt know me.
but i feel affected.
i felt so affected that when i went to buy food, it seemed pointless.
food was now just food. clothes were just clothes. they were just things.
sure they were things that we cant do without but they were just things nontheless.
the day just suddenly seemed different. the clouds were different, the sky was different, the people were different, words exchanged were now pointless and empty, silence was too loud and the noise was too hollow.
everything changed.
i couldnt help but think of his 18 years spent; did he enjoy everyday? regrets? love? experience? family? friends?
i couldnt help but feel that he didnt deserve this. an 18 year old and brain tumour. seems nearly ridiculous.
but there it is.
blantantly put before my face by some cruel force.
its just not right.
somethings shouldnt happen.
it put everything into a certain perspective and i start questioning myself; my life.
do i have regrets? definitely.
have i lived every day to its fullest? nope.
should i? more importantly, can i? is it possible in this time and age to live life to its fullest and die happy or are we just conforming to what society wants us to do and what society deem as rights and wrongs and in the process, living our life mechanically and in chains, forever fearing that we will be shunned?
this is difficult and i guess all i can do is try.
somethings shouldnt happen.